R.I.P. The Camelot Hotel - Tulsa, OK

Ever since I was a kid, I can remember the once beautiful Camelot Hotel. Built in the 1960's, it was an elegant eight-story, 330-room pink castle, complete with turret, massive iron gates, moat, drawbridge and a swimming pool shaped like the top of a medieval spear. In the late 1960's, the Camelot was the hot place to be in Tulsa. It was a popular place for local events, including proms, reunions, and wedding receptions.

Of course, it was not so elegant in my memory. My whole life the Camelot was in decay, abandoned and broken down. But it was still a castle. I always thought there must be some kind of magic kingdom behind those broken windows. Perhaps a sleeping princess who would restore her castle to glory once she had awoken. But she didn't wake up in time because the Camelot Hotel was torn down and replaced by a Best Western. It was a surprise on my visit to Tulsa when I didn't see the turret rising over the buildings. I immediately felt an ache for that old castle, even if no one had stayed in it for years. Well, stayed in it as a hotel. Over the years, it had become home to many a vandal and plenty of vermin. But you could still see remnants of the old elegance and majesty.

In 1996, the Camelot was condemned for public habitation. But despite the condemnation, the people of Tulsa still loved that decaying old building. One survey found that up to 80% of Tulsans were opposed to demolishing the Camelot. Most probably for sentimental reasons. After all, many people had attended proms, weddings, and other major events at the hotel. It was once a site where prominent celebrities stayed on their visits to the Sooner State (including Elvis and Richard Nixon).

But despite the love of the city, the Camelot could not be saved. Demolition began in August 2007. In September, the ballroom had been torn down and the building had caught fire. The Camelot was finally gone in April 2008. It is truly sad to see such a beautiful landmark go, even if it had past its prime.

Total Time Traveled: 9 hours

Total Distance Traveled: 522 miles

Soundtrack: "Cue the Theme Music" Playlist

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R.I.P. World's Largest Meat Cleaver - Topeka, KS

I've talked before about the tragedy of disappearing roadside attractions and how sometimes my trips to see them end in disappointment. Most recently I wrote about the missing Muffler Man of Kansas City, Kansas. Sadly, I have another roadside attraction to add to the list of those fading from the fair Midwest - the World's Largest Meat Cleaver in Topeka, Kansas.

The World's Largest Meat Cleaver used to be at the corner of 6th Street and Jackson Street in downtown Topeka. It was not the only oversized roadside attraction in the Kansas capitol city - I have written previously about my visit to see the World's Largest Wren. But sadly my search for the meat cleaver came too late. It was first moved to Topeka in 2006 but by 2009 it was nowhere to be found.

I did a bit of research and found that the meat cleaver was part of a downtown topeka art project known as "Art in the Heart of Topeka" by Downtown Topeka Inc., the Future Heritage of Topeka Inc., and Washburn University.

The meat cleaver was officially called "Untitled II" and was created by Robert Craig, then an associate professor of art and the chairman of the Department of Art and Design at University of Iowa. The work was part of a series called "Skeuomorphic Works," in which he would take utilitarian objects (like a meat cleaver) and construct them on a larger scale. Craig explained his project, "My interest is equally sustained by awareness that these objects were designed for hand use and they are artifacts of a time when technology was still largely dependent on manual processes." His other works can be found throughout the country. "Untitled I" is currently in Skokie, Illinois, which I think is supposed to be an antique ship rudder. "Untitled III" is in North Carolina, and I think it is either a woodchipper or a pizza cutter.

As for the fate of "Untitled II" or the World's Largest Meat Cleaver, I have absolutely no idea where it has gone to.

Total Time Traveled: 1 hour

Total Distance Traveled: 54 miles

Soundtrack: "The Meanest of Times" Dropkick Murphys

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R.I.P. Muffler Man - Kansas City, KS

I've talked before about the tragedy of disappearing roadside attractions and how sometimes my trips to see them end in disappointment. While researching some fun new places to go, I was sad to learn that another Kansas roadside attraction has been lost - the Kansas City, Kansas Muffler Man.

Muffler Men are giant fiberglass men that can be seen by the road across the country, usually standing about 20-feet tall and holding full-sized car mufflers, or tires to promote various roadside businesses. (Fun Fact: Most Muffler Men were made by International Fiberglass in Venice, California). Muffler Man roadside attractions have a bit of a cult following. There are websites devoted to tracking the locations of Muffler Men and even classifying them by type. The one in Kansas City would have been known as a Halfwit. The Happy Halfwits are identified by their gap-toothed smile and jug ears, usually wearing a straw hat or baseball cap. There are many other kinds of Muffler Men, such as "The Classic" or "The Bunyan." Johnny Kaw in Manhattan would be identified as "Not Really Muffler Man", because while he doesn't meet the technical requirements he is still a really big fiberglass man and apparently deserves mentioning on these lists.

The Kansas City Muffler Man was reported gone in October of 2000. Supposedly, it was removed to make way for road expansion. But before modern development pushed the Muffler Man aside, it had stood there since the 1960's. Supposedly, it was a generic looking Halfwit Muffler Man at a convenience store called Poor Boy's Pantry. It was then repainted in the 1980s with a Hawaiian shirt tucked into his jeans and painted Nike running shoes. Supposedly, his final role before his disappearance was serving as a "bouncer" in front of an adult store.

While I wasn't lucky enough to see Kansas City's Muffler Man, there are plenty more out there. There is one in Wichita I hope to visit soon. If you are on a road trip and want to see a few Muffler Men of your own, check out this map to see where they can be found.

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Photo Note: This is not a picture of the actual Muffler Man that was in Kansas City. I couldn't find one, so this is another halfwit Muffler Man to give you an idea of what it would have looked like if it was still around.

Road Trip Philosophy – Mourning the Decline of Roadside Attractions

When I was a kid, my family took a lot of road trip vacations. For spring break, we usually drove from Oklahoma to Colorado to go skiing. When we drove through Kansas, I always remember we passed a sign from the World’s Largest Prairie Dog. I would beg my father to stop so we could see it, but he always refused. “It’s not really a prairie dog,” he said. “It’s made of plastic.” I didn’t care and I still don’t. I may be in my twenties, but to me a giant plastic prairie dog is amazing and I want to see it.

Unfortunately as time goes by and we march into the future, more and more people are losing interest in the weird roadside attractions of my childhood. Eccentric Roadside recently posted an article about roadside attractions for sale. It reminded me of my trip to see the Sinclair dinosaur only to find out the gas station had closed down and the dinosaur had been stolen.

Kansas – land of wheat fields and weird things by the road – seems to be particularly susceptible to the decline. The Prairie Dog Town of my youth is now for sale for $450,000. Some say it is the change in travel habits – more people fly than drive long distances now. Some say it is the inability to compete with other forms of children entertainment – a kid isn’t going to be amazed by a giant plastic prairie dog after seeing 3D cartoons.

But I think it is a lost sense of childhood wonder that is really endangering America’s roadside attractions. When I was ten-years-old, I knew that prairie dog wasn’t alive. I didn’t care. It was amazing to me that a giant prairie dog existed. It was amazing because I was willing to be amazed. I was willing to be swept into the childhood wonder.

Roadside attractions may not live forever. The giant prairie dog may not be around for my children, grandchildren or great grandchildren. But what concerns me more is that this is a symptom of a greater disease afflicting our great nation – a cynical unwillingness to be impressed. An unwillingness to be childish and absurd is more troublesome than the loss of a giant prairie dog.

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RIP Sinclair Dinosaur - Kansas City, MO

In these difficult economic times, roadside attractions suffer as much as everyone else. Which is why the Sinclair Dinosaur of Kansas City, Missouri is no more.

The Sinclair gas station used to feature a large, detailed Brontosaurus made from fiberglass. It was one of many around the United States. The original one was featured at the Chicago World's Fair of 1933/34. Sinclair was sponsoring a dinosaur exhibit to make note of the connection between the Age of the Dinosaurs and the formation of fossil fuels. It was so popular, the Sinclair dinosaur became available around the country in dolls and toys, as well as the large statue that used to stand outside the gas station in Kansas City, Missouri.

According to RoadsideArchitecture, the Sinclair gas station closed in 2008. About six months later, the dinosaur statute was gone, believed to have been stolen.

I suppose in these difficult times, it must be expected that some roadside attractions will go the way of the dinosaurs.

Total Travel Time: 25 minutes
Total Travel Distance: 19 miles
Soundtrack: "A Fever You Can't Sweat Out" - Panic at the Disco