Road Trip Philosophy - Why I Love Diners

No matter where I travel, I always look for the same place to eat - the All-American Diner. It is something so quintessentially perfect for a road trip. You pull off the road when you see the sign, usually a name and followed by apostrophe s, like Mikey's or Linda's (I always wonder if the name is a real person, or just a persona created for the atmosphere). The menus are always laminated but still slightly stained by customers who have come before. At least one item of the menu is always designated as world-famous, some claim to fame to entice diners although they never say how that acclaim was achieved.

The diner coffee is always good. (My friends and I had a theory it was because the coffee pots were always old.) Coffee is diners is not just a road trip staple, it is also something uniquely American. When the country was first beginning to rebel against England, drinking coffee became an act of American independence. When the English began taxing tea in America...well, you know the story of the Boston Tea Party and so on. Suffice it to say that as Americans began to reject tea as English, many of the country's first patriots began to prefer coffee. (Coffee has always been a bit of a rabblerouser. In the 17th century, Ottoman Sultan Murad IV banned coffee because he believed drinking it led people to question his rule. Supposedly, he roamed the streets with an executioner and beheaded anyone he saw drinking coffee.)

It's not just me who has a passion for diners. Movies, music, and television shows featuring road trips inevitably focus on the old, dusty diner where weary travelers can stop for a bite to eat and a strong cup of coffee. There's Katz's Deli where Rob Reiner's mother ordered what Sally was having in When Harry Met Sally. There's Olive ordering her waffles a la mode, because even pageant girls eat ice cream, in Little Miss Sunshine. Or the intricate discussion of tipping during the opening scene of Reservoir Dogs. Actually, I think Quentin Tarentino's films have particularly latched on to the mystique of the diner. Most of his films feature diners as prominent locations for important scenes. Pulp Fiction had the 50's themed diner with a $5 milkshake and a dance contest as well as the Hawthorne Grill where Honey-Bunny and Pumpkin tried to hold-up customers. Whenever someone makes a movie or writes a song about a road trip, there always is some mention of that diner in the middle of nowhere for wayward wanderers to stop.

It's not just about the coffee or the mystique of diners - it's also about the food. I love diner food. There is nothing better than a good plate of runny eggs with bacon and hash browns (as I've said before and will say again). Although everyone has a preferred diner meal. For some its french toast or maybe pancakes. Others might steer away from breakfast food (although I have no idea why) and go for the other diner classics like a burger and fries or chicken fried steak. But there's a sense of comfort to the traveler when she stops at a diner in a place she has never been and is able to find something on the menu that feels comfortable and homey.

Perhaps that is the best thing about diners - no matter where we are, they always provide sense of home through a familiar meal.

Throughout my travels, I've been to plenty of diners. Some have been great and some have been awful. One in Chicago gave me food poisoning. Twice. But no matter where you travel in this country, there will always be a great roadside diner with a cup of coffee, some world famous dish to offer, and a laminated menu with decade-old ketchup stains.

This joins other food blog articles posted in Wanderfood Wednesdays on Wanderlust and Lipstick. Check them out!

Road Trip Philosophy - You Can't Go Home Again

This past week, I took a road trip back to my hometown of Tulsa, Oklahoma to see my sister graduate from college. It was an event I wouldn’t miss for the world, although it didn’t come at a particularly good time – the middle of finals week to be exact. So while my family went to a little soiree for my sister and her best friend, I drove around our hotel looking for somewhere I could eat and study for a few hours.

I was immediately struck by how different things are. I recognized the street signs and I knew where I was, but it was like trying to remember a dream. Everything had a vague sense of familiarity, but I couldn’t be sure about anything. I would look for an old landmark, like the decrepit Camelot Hotel (an awesome castle-themed building that had been around as long as I could remember and been abandoned just as long). But it was torn down and replaced by a Best Western. It was like looking at a jumble of puzzle pieces from two different boxes of puzzles – some pieces I recognized while others were there but felt out of place in my memory of what Tulsa is.

I started thinking about when I left this place six years ago. I was so ready to leave. Actually, I had been ready for years. I always thought that Tulsa was a place where you were “from”. It was never the place you went or wanted to end up. But driving through town today I started seeing bits of my life everywhere. That was the park where my friends and I had a picnic in the summer. That was the dollar movie theater where we went to see “The Emperor’s New Groove” at the 50-cent matinees every day for a week. Memories – good, bad, and banal – were around me. Even though the landscape had changed, Tulsa still felt like my home. I may be “from” Tulsa, but part of me will never leave.

Out of reflex or perhaps some sort of nostalgia, I drove towards my old neighborhood. I kept playing the same three songs on my stereo: “Don’t Stop Believin’” by Journey, “Carry on My Wayward Son” by Kansas, and “Free Bird” by Lynard Skynard. I don’t know what it says about me that the best of mullet rock makes me feel at home, but it does.

Not everything had changed, of course. I found comforting little memories everywhere. But the greatest was the giant orange sign and the teal roof – the most comfortingly garish colors I know. Village Inn. Nothing makes me feel more at home in Tulsa, than I trip to Village Inn.

But more about that tomorrow.

Total Time Traveled: 9 hours

Total Distance Traveled: 522 miles

Soundtrack: "Cue the Theme Music" Playlist

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Road Trip Philosophy - My Top Three Bad Horror Movies about Hotels

I love bad horror movies almost as much as love good ones. But these...these are so bad they are not even funny. I'm almost proud I've seen them because that means I have sat through them, which is a testament to my endurance as a film fanatic. I've written already about some absolutely great horror movies that play on the fears of hapless travelers forced to stop for the night in a strange motel room and the terrible things that tend to happen as a result. But not all movies that try and play on those fears are actually good movies. Some are just plain terrible. And not so terrible that they are funny. Just plain bad. This list is more a warning not to waste your time with these terrible films.

1. 1408

This movie was one big disappointment for me. I have stayed in a haunted hotel before and am a fan of John Cusack, so I was absolutely thrilled to go see it. What followed was one big depressing let down. The movie wasn't really about a haunted hotel, it was about a father tormented by his grief over losing his daughter. He travels to haunted hotels and motels to write about all the creepy things happening but all the while he is hoping for a sign of an afterlife and perhaps a way of contacting his deceased child. But when he stays in Room 1408, he finds himself tormented and encouraged to end his own life as the only means of escape. But it isn't scary or even particularly creative. It's just...depressing.

2. Psycho II

Why someone would make a sequel to Hitchcock's masterpiece is beyond me. Some films should just not have sequels and this is one of them. After years in a mental institution, Norman Bates returns home to the Bates Motel. But is he free from his mother? He begins to get mysterious notes from her and then a teenage boy is murdered. The film tries hard to be a suspenseful thriller and recreate the terrifying magic of the original. But it just tries too hard. Even if you manage to suspend your belief long enough to be swept up in the mystery (Who is leaving the notes for Norman? Has he once again gone insane? Or is he simply tormented by those who won't let him forget the past?) you will spend most of the time rolling your eyes and wondering why they didn't just leave the great original alone, instead of marring it with this terrible followup.

3. Vacancy

The first half of this movie isn't really a horror movie. It's a bad drama. A bickering couple on the brink of divorce after the death of a child get lost on a road trip, only worsening their snipping at each other. Honestly, it was better when I saw it in "Rachel's Wedding." (Now that was a good movie.) But when we finally get to the scary stuff - a couple trapped in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of people who like to murder hapless motel guests for sport - it doesn't really seem worth the wait. The movie isn't about the scary killers (there isn't even a real backstory to explain why any of this is happening), it is about this couple rekindling their marriage by overcoming deadly adversity. The writers probably thought this would give the movie more depth than your typical horror film, but all it really did was make me wish they would stop whining already.

Road Trip Philosophy - My Top Three Road Trip Horror Movies

I have written before about how much I love movies about road trips and about how much I love horror movies about traveling, so it only makes sense that I should make a list of five road trip horror movies that I love endlessly. Now this is a list of good horror movies, not bad horror movies. That is a list I'm saving for later.

1. Texas Chainsaw Massacre

This iconic film created one of the most enduring horror movie killers of all time - Leatherface. A group of friends are on a road trip in rural Texas, but they make some classic horror movie mistakes. First, they pick up a hitchhiker (If you didn't learn not to do that from this movie, then watch "The Hitcher" and you'll know that speeding past a sketchy man by the side of a rural road is a good idea). Then they go into a strange house with an unlocked door. Finally, they split up. These are all things you simply don't do - in real life or a horror movie. But of course, it is now too late. They are at the mercy of the murderous Leatherface and his family of cannibals. Violent and terrifying, this is a classic film and no matter how many times they make sequels and remakes - nothing will ever be as good as the original.

2. Jeepers Creepers

Two siblings are going on a road trip home from college in a classic car along a back country road. What could go wrong? Apparently a Creeper awaking from his nap to go on a killing spree can go wrong. Darry, the brother, sees the Creeper dumping a body and convinces his sister to help him investigate. What he discovers is a horrifying collection of bodies and parts. They run to get help, with the Creeper close behind. Once he decides one of the siblings has something he wants, he's not going to stop hunting them until he gets it. Complete with a psychic trying to help and police who don't seem to be able to do a thing to help, it is a thrill ride as what supposed to be a nice trip home becomes a run for their lives from the supernatural. (By the way, the sequel to this is actually pretty good. As far as horror movie sequels go.)

3. House of 1000 Corpses

This film scares me and not many do. But maybe that is just because it is set up like a road trip I would go one. Two couples set out on the road to write a book about off-beat roadside attractions (sound familiar?), but then they make the same mistake as our travelers in "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" - they pick up a hitchhiker named Baby. But Baby leads them right into a trap. The couples end up at her house to celebrate her strange family's even stranger Halloween traditions. After dinner, the family puts on a Halloween show for their guests, but Baby takes things a little too far and is threatened. Mother tells the friends to leave, but as they try to do so they are attacked. What follows is a horrifying mind-trip into the frightening depravity of this sick and twisted family. This movie is definitely frightening and yet another reminder to never pick up hitchhikers - or you might end up having dinner with a family of crazies in the middle of nowhere.

Honorable Mention: Death Proof

I can't count the number of times I have seen Death Proof. The only reason I am reluctant to put in the top three is that I'm not sure it really qualifies as a "road trip" movie or even a "horror" movie. But in the spirit of thrillers like "Duel" and "Vanishing Point", this film will have you on the edge of your seat. Part of Robert Rodriquez and Quinten Tarantino's "Grindhouse" double feature, "Death Proof" is half the story of a serial killer stuntman with a car who likes to kill girls in car accidents that only he survives. But then he messes with the wrong girls who aren't about to go down easy. This film is part car-chase thriller, part twisted-psychological horror, and part girl-power. I can't recommend this movie enough, even if you only watch it to see Zoe Bell perform jaw dropping stunts while strapped to the hood of a car.

Road Trip Philosophy - My Top Three Dream Romantic Destinations

The Huffington Post recently posted a list of 9 legendary romantic spots worth a visit. While the list was really interesting - it included the spot where Elizabeth Bennett first rejected Mr. Darcy and the balcony of Shakespeare's Juliet - I noticed a distinct lack of a few spots that to me are incredibly romantic. Although my concept of romance may be a little skewed, as evidenced by this list. So in honor of Valentine's Day, I am happy to present my top three dream romantic destinations.

1. Married by Elvis in Las Vegas, Nevada

Some little girls dream of their weddings in a big white dress and a chapel filled with flowers. I've never really been one of those girls. In fact, I can't really think of anything I would want less than a wedding that takes two years to plan and costs tens of thousands of dollars. My ideal wedding would be in Las Vegas, Nevada with an Elvis conducting the ceremony. To me, it is everything a wedding should be. It is fun and intimate. It is about two people celebrating their love by having a little fun and even being a little silly. "A Elvis Chapel" is of course not the only chapel where this is an option - there are at least a dozen chapels in Vegas that offer an opportunity to be married by the King. And I suppose the sheer number of places for this opportunity show I'm not the only one who thinks romance shouldn't take itself too seriously.

2. St. George's Chapel at Windsor Castle in Berkshire, England

Many of the sites in The Huffington Post article honor tragic love, commemorating star-crossed lovers who are doomed to never be truly together in life. But to me one of the most enduring loves was between Queen Victoria and Prince Albert. After meeting Albert, Victoria wrote to her uncle Leopold to thank him "for the prospect of great happiness you have contributed to give me, in the person of dear Albert ... He possesses every quality that could be desired to render me perfectly happy." They were happily married for 21 years and had 9 children. After Albert died of typhoid, Queen Victoria plunged into mourning. For the rest of her life, she would wear black and seclude herself from the world. In honor of her husband's memory, Queen Victoria renovated the east end of the choir of St. George's Chapel in Windsor Castle. Prince Albert's Memorial Chapel, as it came to be known, continues to commemorate royal true love to this day.

3. Bow Bridge at Central Park in New York City, New York

In cinematic history, Bow Bridge has often been a site for romantic scenes such as in "The Way We Were", "Manhattan", and "Keeping the Faith". (Fun Fact: I was actually an extra in "Keeping the Faith". Although my scene was cut, I can be seen in a group photo on Jenna Elfman's dresser in another scene). It is an iconic New York City and romantic landmark. The bridge stretchs 60 feet across the Central Park lake, linking the flowers of Cherry Hill with the woodland of the Ramble. In the lake, you can see couples in paddle boats and swans - who often mate for life. Bow Bridge also offers one of the most iconic views of New York City you can find. It isn't a surprise that this one of the most popular proposal spots in the country.

Road Trip Philosophy - My Top Three Horror Movies about Hotel Rooms

Anyone who has been on a long-distance road trip knows the feeling - you've been driving too long, it's gotten dark, you're bleary-eyed, and one more cup of coffee just won't do the trick. It's time to stop and get a hotel room for the night so you can get back on the road in the morning. You start scanning the sides of the road for a sign or maybe you wake up a passenger to look one up on a map or a GPS device. But once you find the motel, the inevitable happens - you remember that shower scene in "Psycho." Hollywood has played on the fears of late night road travelers when they are forced to stop for a night for decades. And here is my list of my top three horror movies that make me think twice about stopping for a motel room on the road (or a hotel with a haunted history).

1. Psycho

The first time I saw "Psycho" was by accident. I was at Universal Pictures Studios with my family and we were on a ride showing how some of the most famous scenes in movies were made. One was the infamous shower scene in "Psycho". My sister and I were both very young, I think I must have been about ten and she was around eight. Of course, we were promptly scarred for life after seeing that scene. For years, we were terrified about showers. It would be many, many years before I would come to love this movie and other great Hitchcock classics (I am also particularly fond of "The Man Who Knew Too Much"). But that is the enduring power of "Psycho". Young or old, this film burrows in your brain and plants a fear that stays with you the rest of your life - and makes you think twice about taking a shower in a motel.

2. Identity

A raging storm traps a group of complete strangers in a motel, but they have more to fear from the deranged killer among them then the nasty weather. As their numbers start to dwindle, they turn on each other to try and figure out who the killer is. All the while we know there is a psychotic killer being examined before he is to be executed for grisly murders in the hotel. It is a psychological thriller, complete with twists and turns that make you question who is the killer, who is real, and what exactly is going on. This film takes the traditional archetype - people trapped in a strange motel - and turns it on its head. Complete with a twist ending that will make you yell, "What just happened?!"

3. The Shining

It's not really about a motel and it's not about travelers forced to stop for the night, but you can't make a list of top horror movies involving motels or hotels and not include "The Shining"! That's some kind of sacrilege to the movie gods. Stanley Kubrick has made some of the most enduring films in cinema - from "Dr. Strangelove" to "Full Metal Jacket". But none are as truly terrifying as "The Shining". A writer takes his family to a secluded hotel for the winter so he can work as a caretaker and write. But then things start happening. Their son seems to be the only one with any real awareness of just how bad things are going to be, as the father begins to slip into madness under the influence of the hotel. It is one of the greatest horror films ever made. Scratch that. One of the greatest films ever made. "Heeeere's, Johnny!"

Dealing with the Westboro Baptist Church Cult

Since the tragic shooting in Arizona, more and more people have been hearing about the horrific tendency of the Westboro Baptist Church Cult to protest the funerals of good and decent people, even children, to advance their message of hatred. I have written about them before, only because over the years I have been living in Kansas I have come to see them as a horrible roadside attraction, something I am forced to see and acknowledge. But for many people around the country, including Arizona, this may be their first encounter with Westboro Baptist Church Cult. For that reason, I have decided to share a few tips for encountering this particular group of extremists while on the road.

Tip #1: Do NOT engage them.

Yes, they are holding up signs with offensive messages and shouting enraging statements, all the while claiming they are righteous in the eyes of God. It will get your blood boiling. But don't talk to them, don't even try. It's just not worth the aggravation. They are trying to get under your skin and trying to get a reaction. Don't give them what they want. Engaging them also includes acts of violence. That is the worst possible thing you can do. The Westboro Baptist Church Cult wants you to give in and be violent because it justifies their message of hatred. You will only give them the satisfaction of feeling righteous and get yourself arrested.

Tip #2: Join a counter-protest.

This is usually what I do. When they spread a message of hate, join a counter-protest and spread a message of love. Make a humorous sign and show their hatred can't destroy your ability to smile (my favorite is "God Hates Shellfish" because it is a spin on their "God Hates America" signs, but get creative and make your own). Or join a group of people to block the Westboro Baptist Church Cult's signs from the view of the mourners. In Arizona, 200 people will be gathering - including 30 wearing angel's wings - to be sure no one at the funeral will have to see the horrible signs of hate. This gives you an opportunity to feel like you are doing something constructive to oppose them, while offering some comfort to those Westboro Baptist Church Cult are trying to harm.

Tip #3: Donate to a good cause.

An online group called Hate Busters encourages people to take the lemons of hatred and turn them into the lemonade of charity. Every time Fred Phelps and his despicable band of followers at the Westboro Baptist Church Cult protest near you, make a donation to a charity that they hate - and there are many of them! - then have a thank you letter sent to the Westboro Baptist Church Cult and Fred Phelps stating that they inspired you to give. Many people choose to donate a dollar for every minute they protest, but you can give whatever feels right to you. I have included a short list of national charities Phelps hates here:

• Planned Parenthood
• NARAL Pro-Choice America
• National AIDS Fund
• International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission
• National Military Family Association
• Jewish National Fund

Church Address to send thank you note:
Westboro Baptist Church
3701 SW 12th St.
Topeka, KS 66604-1730

I hope these tips will help people who are not familiar with Westboro Baptist Church Cult find a way to cope with this outpouring of hatred, by responding with a message of positivity, hope, and love.

Endnote: Why I Call It Westboro Baptist Church Cult

This is not a political blog so I’m not going to get into the finer points of their anti-Semitic, homophobic propaganda. The only point I will make is that Westboro Baptist Church is not a “church,” it is a cult. To call it a church is an insult to all other religious institutions and houses of prayer. The cult is run by Fred Phelps and consists almost entirely of Phelps family members including his children and grandchildren. (Yes, they bring the little kids to protests.) Two of the Phelps children have escaped his cult and described suffering abuse from their father who created the church to elevate himself as a sort of demigod. In 1995, one of his sons claimed that Phelps was enslaving members of the cult and deluding them into believing he was the only righteous man on earth. That is why I will NOT refer to Westboro as a church.

Road Trip Philosophy - My Top 5 Movies about Road Trips

It's the first post of the new year (when we can finally drop this "two thousand and..." nonsense and just start saying twenty eleven), so I thought I'd offer some insight into one of my favorite things in the world - movies. Yes, I am absolutely obsessed with movies. My friends and family often marvel at my ability to know random bits of useless film trivia, to quote lines from most of the movies I have seen, and even the sheer number of movies I seem to have found time to watch in my short time on this earth. Everyone has their passions and films just happen to be one of mine. It seems fitting to begin this new year (and the third year of The Yellow Brick Road Trip), with a list of my favorite five movies about road trips.

1. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

"We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold." Has there ever been a greater or more outrageous opening line to a film? Hunter S. Thompson's book that served as the foundation for the film is one of the greatest written works of that time, serving to encapsulate the "high water mark" of a generation. Johnny Depp and Bencio Del Toro are incredible as they portray an eccentric journalist and his insane lawyer on a drug-fueled road trip to Las Vegas. The sheer visual spectacle of their escapades is captivating and the sense of unbridled adventure and insanity always make me want to jump into a convertible and hit the open desert road.

2. Little Miss Sunshine

All families are a little dysfunctional, but Little Miss Sunshine shows what happens when you put all that dysfunction into one van and send it hurtling towards California. I love each character for their own unique foibles - the unsuccessful motivational speaker father, the silent brother with a dream, the suicidal intellectual uncle, the heroin-using and sex-crazed grandfather, and above all the little girl with glasses and a dream. This film makes every family road trip I've been on seem like a five-star luxury retreat. But it also encapsulates the true meaning of a family road trip - it's not where you're going, it's spending time with your family along the way. And everything that goes wrong is just one more opportunity to bring you closer to the people you are stuck with.

3. Easy Rider

It is impossible for me to write about road trip films and not mention Easy Rider. Probably because I don't believe there has been a more culturally significant film about the free spirit of the open road. It is certainly controversial for its use of real drugs, but the epic story of two men searching the Southwest and South for true freedom captures the longing escape that can only be found on a deserted highway. When I first saw this film in high school, I don't think I really understood it. I latched on to the need to be untethered and see country, just as I did when I first read "On the Road" by Jack Kerouac. But as I have gotten older and continued to re-watch the film, I now feel as though Fonda and Hopper are conveying some deep truth. There is a desperate longing to the two lone bikers on the road. Some furious need to be free that burns within every soul and propels us forward to tragedy. This film always fans that sad little flame within me and by the time it is over, I am always looking at a map for some new far-flung destination in a place I have never been.

4. Tommy Boy

I did not go a day in middle school without hearing someone quote "Tommy Boy." This is without a doubt the funniest road trip movie I have ever seen and has the best, most quotable dialogue. The immature and accident-prone Chris Farley has incredible comedic timing as he delivers his enduring one liners ("Do you know where the weight room is?") and David Spade is the ultimate uptight straight man with a razor sharp tongue trying desperately to survive their misadventures ("Let's say the average person uses ten percent of their brain. How much do you use? One and a half percent. The rest is clogged with malted hops and bong resin"). In summarizing my love for "Tommy Boy" I suppose there is only one thing left to say: "Fat guy in a little coat."

5. Wristcutters: A Love Story

This movie was first recommended to me by my friend Kat, and I'll be honest and say I hesitated a long time before watching it. As much as I have a morbid sense of humor, I simply couldn't imagine a film about suicidal people being funny and heartwarming. Luckily, I recognized that Kat is often much smarter than me and rented this movie because it is funny, heartwarming, inspiring, and so much more. It is a film about second chances and finding the answers you didn't even know you were looking for on the road. After committing suicide, a man finds him stuck in an afterlife purgatory. He hits the road with a rock musician who committed suicide on stage and a girl who insists she is in the wrong place in search of the his old girlfriend, who has learned in also in purgatory after killing herself. Sounds depressing, I know, but this movie offers truth and philosophy about life and the road in a way I have never seen. Whether it is that anything lost under the passenger seat is gone for good or what you have is always better than what you are looking for, this is an enlightening film that will make you think even as it warms your heart.

Road Trip Philosophy - Why I Didn't Drive Until I Was 17

During Thanksgiving, my family and I were discussing one of my cousin's new learner's permit. Which of course brought up the subject of my learner's permit. I actually didn't get my learner's permit until I was sixteen and didn't get my driver's license until I was seventeen, a year later than all my peers. This may be surprising because I obviously love to drive and spend a lot of time behind the wheel.

But before I became I dedicated road tripper, I was terrified of driving because of a traumatic car accident. When I was fifteen and a half, I was riding in a car on the way to church. There were five of us in the car, the driver, one person in the passenger seat, and three of us in the back. I was in the middle seat (also known as the Jesus seat because if you were in an accident, you better pray to Jesus. This was, of course, a little ironic.) On our way to church we were passing through an intersection when a car turning right on red suddenly appeared in front of us. We hit the car and the driver spun the wheel left as hard and fast as she could, trying to avoid a bigger collision. But she lost control of the car. We crossed three lanes of traffic, jumped a curb, and crashed into the side of a brick apartment building.

My memory of the actual accident is a little hazy. Mostly because I suffered a concussion. I remember only flashes. I remember seeing the car and thinking, "We're going to hit him." I remember hitting my head a couple times. Then I remember jumping the curb and seeing a brick wall coming at us. All I thought was, "We're going to crash." I didn't experience any existential crises. My life didn't flash before my eyes. All I could do was try to understand what was happening so quickly. And then be grateful I was wearing my seatbelt. Because if I hadn't, I would have flown through the windshield, become a skid mark by the side of the road, and I certainly wouldn't be alive today to write this.

We stumbled out of the smoldering wreck, confused by alive. But things got worse. The girl in the passenger seat began walking down the side walk when she collapsed, not breathing. The airbag had caused a asthma attack and she could not breathe. Luckily, a nurse who had been driving by pulled over and performed CPR. An ambulance arrived quickly to take everyone to the hospital, although I did not go. In my concussion-induced confusion, I was completely unaware of where I was and what was happening so I insisted I was fine. It wasn't until I got home that I realized the seatbelt had burst the capillaries on my waist and I was bleeding through my sister's sundress I had borrowed for the day.

For about a year after the accident, I became terrified of being in a car. Not just driving, but even being a passenger. I would have panic attacks at intersections and hyperventilate every time I got behind the wheel. I would take many months before I would stop seeing cars as moving death machines and start to embrace the freedom the road offered.

As odd as this may sound, I am actually grateful for the experience. I am an extremely careful driver and have only been in one accident behind the wheel. I have learned to anticipate the stupid decisions drivers make on the road and how to avoid them. I have learned how to not make those stupid decisions myself. And most importantly, I always wear my seatbelt. I know how suddenly and unexpectedly things can go wrong on the road and I know that wearing my seatbelt saved my life.

So for all you out there taking roadtrips, wear your seatbelt and be careful. The road is a magical place, but it can also be dangerous.

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Road Trip Philosophy – Weighing in on the TSA Debate

“They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.” – Ben Franklin

The new TSA regulations on pat downs and advanced imaging in airports has many people upset. And I understand why. Although I prefer to drive whenever possible (obviously because this is a road trip blog), I am often forced to fly when time constraints prevent me from taking the time to drive long distances. So I am naturally concerned about these new regulations.

In my opinion, the TSA has gone too far. With the old pat down procedures, agents ran the back of their hands along the passenger’s body. I didn’t enjoy the pat down, but I understood it. I have issues with personal space. I don’t like being touched by strangers. Heck, I don’t even like sitting too close to people I don’t know on a plane or subway car. So while the old pat down procedures made me uncomfortable, I was willing to go through it because I knew it was as minimally invasive as possible and served an important purpose.

But the new pat down procedures take it too far. Now TSA agents rub and grope passengers with open palms. Already there have been complaints of people with medical ailments being humiliated in front of other passengers in the name of security. A bladder cancer survivor who wears a bag that collects his urine said a TSA punctured the bag during an aggressive pat down and left him covered in his own urine. A breast cancer survivor was forced to show her prosthetic breast during a pat down, after the agent had grabbed it with her hand.

This isn’t protecting anyone. The TSA says the pat downs are for security from terrorism. But then why is the TSA terrorizing us? Why is it humiliating passengers, violating them physically and psychologically? I believe I have the right to physically safety when traveling – whether it is from a terrorist or a TSA agent. I don’t believe I should have to give up my right to safety from one to be protected from the other.

The alternative to the pat down is to go through a full body scanner, but that isn’t much better. Rather than being groped, poked and prodded, you walk through what is basically a large X-ray machine and allow the TSA agents to view your naked body. That is something I am just not okay with. Call me a prude, but I don’t like flashing my genitals to strangers. What’s worse is that the TSA or other federal agencies might be saving these images. That means the government could have nude pictures of me and my private parts on file. The very thought of that makes me nauseous.

Honestly, the new pat down procedures and the full body scanners make me afraid to fly. I am more afraid of being violated by TSA regulations that will expose me and violate me than of any other security threat.

But I’m not sure what I can do about it. Sometimes, I need to fly because driving isn’t possible. I can only hope that enough complaints will force the TSA to reevaluate how it violates passengers.

Road Trip Philosophy - My Travel Bucket List

Travel Junkie Julia recently posted 10 Extreme Travel Adventures to Add to Your Bucket List. The exciting list included riding a bull, cage diving with great white sharks, and running a marathon on the Great Wall of China. My personal bucket list is significantly less dangerous, but I always appreciate some suggestions and thought this would be a great chance to share with you my top three travel destinations I will go to before I die:

1. The Sedlec Ossuary in Sedlec, Czech Republic

I have already bought my Czech Republic travel guides, complete with maps and hostel ratings. I've been planning this trip for a couple years and sincerely hope to go sometimes in the next few years.

The Sedlect Ossuary has an amazing history. The abbot of the monastery in Sedlec, was sent to the Holy Land in 1278. When he returned, he brought with him a small amount of earth he had removed from Golgotha and sprinkled it over the abbey cemetery. The word of this pious act soon spread and the cemetery in Sedlec became a desirable burial site throughout Central Europe. During the Black Death in the mid 14th century, and after the Hussite Wars in the early 15th century, many thousands of people were buried there and the cemetery had to be greatly enlarged.

Overwhelmed with bodies, a woodcarver in the 19th century was employed to put the bones in order. The result was incredible. He completely decorated the small chapel with the bones, including an enormous chandelier of bones hangs from the center of the nave with garlands of skulls draping the vaults. This macabre chapel is one place I have to see before I die

2. Safari and Tour of Tanzania, Africa

Specifically, I would like to go on a safari tour through Lake Manyara and Ngorongoro Crater in Tanzania. Also, a stop on the beautiful beaches of Zanzibar for some relaxation in the beautiful sun. In addition to amazing safaris, beautiful beaches, and busy urban cities, Tanzania also offers Mt. Kilimanjaro, the highest peak in Africa (though I doubt I am even remotely in good enough physical shape to even consider climbing it). Basically, I would like to spend a month living in Tanzania so I would have an opportunity to explore all of its amazing attributes.

Tanzania is believed to be one of the oldest known continuously inhabited areas on Earth. Fossil remains of humans and pre-human hominids have been found dating back over two million years. And while many countries in Africa have been torn apart by tribal wars and genocide, Tanzania has lived in relative peace. It is one of the most diverse places in Africa: there are over 120 ethnic groups and a multitude of religions being practiced, including Islam, Christianity, and indigenous religions. Though their primary industry is agriculture (fun fact: agriculture accounts for one-half of the country's gross national product), tourism is a growing industry. So I am certainly not alone in making Tanzania one of my top three places to visit before I die.

3. Mule Trip on the South Rim and Camping in the Grand Canyon, Arizona

Given my recent trip to Arizona, this is probably the most attainable destination (also the cheapest, based on the cost of international airfare.) The Grand Canyon is such an amazing place. It took nearly two billion years of geological events to create it and is without a doubt one of the greatest natural wonders of the world. It is also the site of some of the oldest North American archeological finds. The oldest human artifacts found in the Grand Canyon are nearly 12,000 years old and date to the Paleo-Indian period.

I want to take a mule trip down the south rim, but I would also like to camp at the bottom. I want to really experience the beauty and natural wonders of the Grand Canyon, but not be a destructive tourist. Many people don't know that the Grand Canyon is a delicate ecosystem, and one that eager tourists often abuse. For example, tourists sometimes throw coins into the canyon but then wildlife, such as the California Condor, eat them and choke to death. A depressing thought, I know, but I still think an important thing to remember. I want to go to the Grand Canyon to see the natural beauty, but hopefully leave no trace of my presence behind.

Road Trip Music - "Sometimes I Wonder About You" Playlist

It's officially October, my favorite time of year! The weather starts getting cooler and crisper, the leaves start changing, and it is the one month I can dress up like a zombie and nobody looks at me funny. That's right. I dress up like a zombie. Next week, I'll be posting about my trips to local Zombie Walks in Lawrence and in Kansas City. And soon I'll be posting about my trip with my favorite tourist-ing partner Anna to Tempe, Arizona for the International Horror and Sci-Fi Film Fest. So in preparation for a month of creepy road-trips, I thought I would share a creepy music playlist.

There is a story behind this playlist's name. If the fact I dress up like a zombie didn't clue you in, I'll say it now: I'm weird. I love horror movies, ghost stories, and all things slightly creepy. This has a tendency to disturb my family. One day, I was at my parents house, reading on the couch. My father came in and asked what I was reading. I showed him my book, "Stiff: The Fascinating Lives of Human Cadavers." My father stared at me for a moment before finally saying, "Sometimes I wonder about you." Then he walked away.

So I have made the "Sometimes I Wonder About You" Playlist, a soundtrack to all my creepy roadtrip adventures this month. It includes songs about mayhem, murder, zombies, and just plain freaky stuff. Because this is a rather...um, creepy?...playlist, I do not recommend it for anyone under the age of 18 and I definitely do not recommend it for anyone without a morbid sense of humor. That being said, enjoy!

"Sometimes I Wonder About You" Playlist

1. "Walk Like a Zombie" HorrorPops

2. "Devil with the Black Dress On" Jack Off Jill

3. "Missfit" HorrorPops

4. "Super Sadist" Jack Off Jill

5. "Highway55" HorrorPops

6. "In Old Yellowcake" Rasputina

7. "Hitchcock Starlet" HorrorPops

8. "The Curse of Millhaven" Nick Cave

9. "Rumbrave" Murder by Death

10. "Jack Killed Mom" Jenny Lewis

11. "Killbot2000" Murder by Death

12. "Psycho Therapy" The Ramones

13. "Eet The Children" Otep

14. "Prison Song" System of a Down

15. "Sacrilege" Otep

16. "I Wish You's Die" Betty Blowtorch

17. "T.R.I.C." Otep

18. "Mis Ann Thrope" My Ruin

19. "Menocide" Otep

20. "The Crimson" Atreyu

21. "That Crown Don't Make You a Prince" Murder By Death

22. "'O'Malley's Bar" Nick Cave

23. "'52 Ford" Murder By Death

24. "Holloway Jail" The Kinks

25. "Crazy People" The Wreckers

26. "Henry Lee" Nick Cave

27. "Down in the Willow Garden" Kristin Hersh

28. "Death is Not the End" Nick Cave

Road Trip Music - "Away We Go" (100th Post Soundtrack)

Well, it's official! This is the 100th post on The Yellow Brick Road Trip! And in honor of this momentous occasion, I thought I would share my new road trip soundtrack.

I haven't made a road trip soundtrack in a while, just soundtracks to long hours of studying evidence procedure. So it was nice to think about the music I want to listen to while driving as quickly as I can away school. Some of the songs are repeats from previous mixes, but I think this is a nice way to celebrate 100 posts of vagabonding!

"Away We Go" (100th Post Soundtrack)

1. "Hell on Wheels" Betty Blowtorch

2. "Thelma & Louise" HorrorPops

3. "The Get Away" Pretty Girls Make Graves

4. "Highway 55" HorrorPops

5. "Satan is My Motor" Kaiser Chiefs

6. "Oh My God" Kaiser Chiefs

7. "Take Me Anywhere" Tegan & Sara

8. "A Change Would Do You Good" Sheryl Crow

9. "I Saw a Cop" Jill Sobule

10. "God's Country" Ani DiFranco

11. "All American Girl" Melissa Etheridge

12. "North Carolina" Melissa Ferrick

13. "Everyday is a Winding Road" Sheryl Crow

14. "Nowhere to Go" Melissa Etheridge

15. "LA Song" Beth Hart

16. "Westbound" Melissa Ferrick

17. "Giggling Again For No Reason" Alanis Morissette

18. "I Drove All Night" Cyndi Lauper

19. "Vegas" Sara Bareilles

Road Trip Philosophy – Mourning the Decline of Roadside Attractions

When I was a kid, my family took a lot of road trip vacations. For spring break, we usually drove from Oklahoma to Colorado to go skiing. When we drove through Kansas, I always remember we passed a sign from the World’s Largest Prairie Dog. I would beg my father to stop so we could see it, but he always refused. “It’s not really a prairie dog,” he said. “It’s made of plastic.” I didn’t care and I still don’t. I may be in my twenties, but to me a giant plastic prairie dog is amazing and I want to see it.

Unfortunately as time goes by and we march into the future, more and more people are losing interest in the weird roadside attractions of my childhood. Eccentric Roadside recently posted an article about roadside attractions for sale. It reminded me of my trip to see the Sinclair dinosaur only to find out the gas station had closed down and the dinosaur had been stolen.

Kansas – land of wheat fields and weird things by the road – seems to be particularly susceptible to the decline. The Prairie Dog Town of my youth is now for sale for $450,000. Some say it is the change in travel habits – more people fly than drive long distances now. Some say it is the inability to compete with other forms of children entertainment – a kid isn’t going to be amazed by a giant plastic prairie dog after seeing 3D cartoons.

But I think it is a lost sense of childhood wonder that is really endangering America’s roadside attractions. When I was ten-years-old, I knew that prairie dog wasn’t alive. I didn’t care. It was amazing to me that a giant prairie dog existed. It was amazing because I was willing to be amazed. I was willing to be swept into the childhood wonder.

Roadside attractions may not live forever. The giant prairie dog may not be around for my children, grandchildren or great grandchildren. But what concerns me more is that this is a symptom of a greater disease afflicting our great nation – a cynical unwillingness to be impressed. An unwillingness to be childish and absurd is more troublesome than the loss of a giant prairie dog.

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Road Trip Philosophy – Five Rules of Road Trips

In addition to traveling and writing about traveling, I also like reading about traveling. (I’m sort of one dimensional that way). One of my favorite blogs to read about traveling is Vagabonding Life by Greg Rodgers. Back in 2005, Greg quit his corporate job and took off for the wild blue yonder. Since then, he’s been sharing his amazing stories with us.

One my favorite posts by him is Unofficial Rules of Vagabonding. He offers brilliant advice, such as: “When life gives you lemons, throw them back at the harlot!” Inspired by him, I thought I would share my five rules of road trips.

1. Bring a Map or GPS…

Before I take a trip, I map it out on Google Maps. I figure out all the possible roads I could take there and back, what towns I will pass through along the way, and anywhere I might want to stop on the road. Once I’m on the road, I keep my Garmin GPS handy and a back up map in the glove compartment. Kansas is full of one lane highways that pass through fields without anywhere to stop for hours. One bad turn and you’re heading through Western Kansas for hours before you realize you’ve gone the wrong way. Also, some roadside attractions are small and not advertised. You have to know what you’re looking for and where it is if you’re going to find some roadside attractions.

2. …But Plan on Getting Lost Anyway!

A common mistake about GPS is that it will always work. But I can guarantee when you are out on that one lane highway that runs along the railroad tracks, you’re going to hear that annoying little chirp and monotone voice saying, “Lost satellite reception.” This also assumes that your GPS is completely updated, which also seems to rarely happen. Roads change over time and there will always be construction and detours blocking your path. You can keep your GPS on and try to negotiate around it, but it will keep trying to take you back down the road you can’t take and all the while saying, “Recalculating… Recalculating…” At that point, the only sane thing to do is turn it off.

Without a GPS, you can turn to your map or just trust your inner sense of direction (both of which are highly fallible). On my way back from Oklahoma to Kansas, I spent a good half hour driving around little towns, following a detour that never seemed to end through a torrential downpour. It was unpleasant, but it was an adventure. And isn’t that why you take a road trip in the first place?

3. Talk to Locals…

When you stop in a town of less than 1,000 people, you have to ask yourself one question: Where can I eat that I won’t get food poisoning? Food poisoning and even indigestion can make a long car ride pretty awful for you and anyone who might be in the car with you, so I always take some care with where I eat. But at the same time, I don’t really want to go to a fast food chain. I may know what I’m getting, but where is the fun in eating the same thing at the same place you could go to at home? That’s when its time to talk to locals. There’s always someone friendly around who will tell you where the good greasy spoon diner is. Locals are tour guides: they know what there is to see and how to get there. And you can make some interesting new acquaintances.

4. …But Know When to Keep Your Mouth Shut!

The first time I drove through Atchison, Kansas, I was shocked at some of the bumper stickers. It seems someone had been handing out bumper stickers that expressed political views in the most volatile and violent language possible. That was one of those moments when I knew it was best to keep quiet. If you are on a road trip to voice your opinions and beliefs and every stop, then you’re taking a road trip for the wrong reason and you’re going to spend most of your time in heated arguments. At a certain point, you have to know when to shut up and keep your head down.

Also, know when to walk away. I met a very friendly guy in St. Joseph, Missouri who gave me directions to some places I was looking for and told me a great place to grab dinner. Of course, then he wanted to buy me a drink and wasn’t too interested in taking no for an answer. I made some quick excuses and then I made my escape. Locals are friendly…sometimes too friendly. So know when it’s time to walk away.

5. Be Flexible!

This is the greatest rule of road trips. No one likes the driver on a road trip who won’t stop for food or bathroom breaks, who keeps insisting on sticking to some pre-ordained schedule, and who won’t let you turn the radio up as loud as it goes. Also, if you’re not willing to stop or explore now and then, you’re missing out on some great adventures! My best road trip stories with friends all came about because we were willing to stray from the narrow path. Be willing to take the risk or the long road or the short cut. Be willing to have something go terribly wrong because at least then you’ll have a great story to tell when you get back on your way. As Greg Rodgers would say, “When life gives you lemons, throw them back at the harlot!”

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Road Trip Philosophy - The Freedom of Traveling Alone

I recently read an article in Enduring Wanderlust that said more women are traveling alone. According to the article:

Over the past two years, women have surpassed men in the statistics measuring the total number of travelers. A nearly even breakdown in 2007 has changed to a 60 to 40 percent advantage in favor of female tourists. A significant portion of that 60 percent has chosen to travel solo. Even married women are increasingly traveling alone or with girlfriends.

I find the study very intriguing. When I first started crisscrossing the country, I never traveled alone. I was usually in the back of a car, van, bus or plane along plenty of other people. I also didn’t really plan trips. I just sort of tagged along with whoever was going out of town. I let other people make the decisions of what we should see, where we should eat, and where we should sleep. I was just along for the ride.

That changed after my sophomore year of college. I traveled to Scotland to study 20th century British, Irish and Scottish literature for three months. I had been to Scotland before, but this time I was going to stay for a long time and I didn’t know a soul. It was an incredible and liberating feeling. I remember landing in Manchester before I caught my commuter flight to Scotland. I found a place to have a cup of coffee and a cigarette and I just savored being alone in a foreign country. For those few minutes, I was completely free of everything. No one knew me or who I was; I was not confined by the narrative of the past or the expectations of my future. I was gloriously and fully in the present. I was me.

I made friends in Scotland and even discovered my friend Julie from college was also going to be in my program, so I wasn’t as alone as I thought. But I still love to travel by myself. I love the freedom of making my own plans, deciding where I want to go and what I want to see and how long I want to be gone. I’m bound only by my own desires and my own choices. In a sense, traveling solo allows me to experience my world as an individual on my own terms – it allows me to write my own narrative of how I communicate with the universe.

I think more and more women are finding the freedom of traveling solo. Traveling provides women the opportunity to recreate themselves. In my daily life, I am a student, a worker, a writer, a reader, a daughter, a sister, a friend, and a million other definitive identities. But when I travel alone, I am nothing but a presence in a place I have never been before. There is nothing and no one to contradict anything I say, do, or feel.

When I travel alone, I am me as I choose to define me.

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