The Green Monster – Topeka, KS

St. Gregory Apartments, a.k.a. the Green Monster, is a notorious eight-story building in Topeka, so-named for the hideous shade of green it has been painted. I’m sure when the building was first designed someone thought it would be fresh and cheery to have a minty green apartment building in downtown Topeka. But over time, the green tiles that cover the building’s sides have become more of a pus green than mint.

Despite the name and the sickly color of the exterior, it remains in active use. The lobby is the Disability Rights Center of Kansas while the upper floors are apartments. I went to an apartment on the fifth floor once and was immediately horrified by the smells. At one end of the hall, I could smell fried chicken. At the other end of the hall, I could smell something rotting, like a dead body. It was the most disconcerting combination of smells ever. I can understand an apartment hallway that smells like cooking flesh or a hallway that smells like rotting flesh…but both? That suggests nothing good in my mind.

And in all probability, there really could have been a dead body there. The Green Monster has been the site of numerous crimes, including murder. An article on a January 2011 murder in the building was met with anything but surprise and prompted the journalists to recount some of the more notorious past crimes committed there, including multiple murders and the brutal “stomping” that left a man with brain damage in 2007. Some people in Topeka have called for the building to be torn down or at least painted (maybe something about the hideous shade of green inspires some kind of criminal inclination in people nearby?) Maybe the building itself is out to get people. On at least one occasion, a tile fell off the side of the building and landed on a truck in the parking lot below.

I’ve heard the Green Monster wasn’t always a monster, of course. Once it was a popular building where government offices could be run in the lobby while government and political employees could occupy the suites on the upper floors. But something happened. Maybe it was when the shade of green began to shift from sweet to sickly. Maybe it was one when the tiles started to fall off the siding and crush the cars below. Maybe it was the smell. I don’t know. But the Green Monster continues to stand, inspiring confusion and maybe a little fear in the people of Topeka.

Total Time Traveled: 1 hour
Total Distance Traveled: 55 miles
Soundtrack: "Sainthood" Tegan and Sara

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C.W. Porubsky’s Deli - Topeka, KS

In the part of Topeka known as "Little Russia" there is a locally famous deli and specialty grocery store called C.W. Porubsky’s Deli and Tavern. Their chili, hot pickles, and cold cuts have been nationally and internationally recognized but in Topeka they are down-right legendary.

Despite several trips, I never seem to be able to make it there in during the few hours the Tavern is open for lunch. But this trip I did manage to make it in time to the Deli. The small space is filled mostly with the sort of items you would find in a gas station convenience store, such as prepackaged foods that can be prepared in the microwave. But just a few steps to the back of the store and you will find an amazing deli that also offers world famous hot pickles.

Personally, I don't tend to eat a lot of pickles (unlike some celebrities, although I don't know why they are famous). But I'm not going to pass up an opportunity to sample an internationally recognized Kansas delicacy.

C.W. Porubsky’s Deli and Tavern is so famous, it is having a documentary made about it. C.W. Porubsky's grandson, Matthew Porubsky, is made a documentary, entitled "Porubsky's: Transcendent Deli", about the deli's history and more than 60 years in service. Click here to learn more about the documentary, which is also available for purchase

This joins other food blog articles posted in Wanderfood Wednesdays on Wanderlust and Lipstick. Check them out!

Total Time Traveled: 1 hour
Total Distance Traveled: 54 miles
Soundtrack: "The Meanest of Times" Dropkick Murphys

Fire Hydrant Garden - Topeka, KS

While many of the roadside attractions I see are placed prominently on display, some oddities are tucked away in a quiet neighborhood. One example is the fire hydrant heaven (and doggy playground) in Topeka, Kansas. On a recent trip to Topeka, I left the main roads and took drive through the residential areas where I saw the fire hydrant garden. Surrounding a nice white house on the corner were more fire hydrants I had ever seen in one place. Each loving painted a different color and style with two dogs running around, as happy as they could possibly be.

According to RoadsideAmerica.com: "Claude Belshe started to collect and install old fire hydrants when the garden he and his wife planted was trampled by their two dogs. The hydrants have become heaven for the dogs! They have all been lovingly repainted by his stepson Jeffery. Claude plans for the garden to continue to grow and is always on the lookout for more hydrants. The entire garden can be seen from the street as his dogs are very aggressive to protect their paradise!"

When it comes to lawn decorations, this has to be one of the best I've ever seen (not as great as The Beer Can House in Houston, Texas but still pretty good). Which of course raises the question: why would you decorate your lawn with a bunch of pink flamingos or garden gnomes you can buy at any store when you could make your own decorations that express your own unique personality?

Total Time Traveled: 1 hour
Total Distance Traveled: 54 miles
Soundtrack: "The Meanest of Times" Dropkick Murphys

R.I.P. World's Largest Meat Cleaver - Topeka, KS

I've talked before about the tragedy of disappearing roadside attractions and how sometimes my trips to see them end in disappointment. Most recently I wrote about the missing Muffler Man of Kansas City, Kansas. Sadly, I have another roadside attraction to add to the list of those fading from the fair Midwest - the World's Largest Meat Cleaver in Topeka, Kansas.

The World's Largest Meat Cleaver used to be at the corner of 6th Street and Jackson Street in downtown Topeka. It was not the only oversized roadside attraction in the Kansas capitol city - I have written previously about my visit to see the World's Largest Wren. But sadly my search for the meat cleaver came too late. It was first moved to Topeka in 2006 but by 2009 it was nowhere to be found.

I did a bit of research and found that the meat cleaver was part of a downtown topeka art project known as "Art in the Heart of Topeka" by Downtown Topeka Inc., the Future Heritage of Topeka Inc., and Washburn University.

The meat cleaver was officially called "Untitled II" and was created by Robert Craig, then an associate professor of art and the chairman of the Department of Art and Design at University of Iowa. The work was part of a series called "Skeuomorphic Works," in which he would take utilitarian objects (like a meat cleaver) and construct them on a larger scale. Craig explained his project, "My interest is equally sustained by awareness that these objects were designed for hand use and they are artifacts of a time when technology was still largely dependent on manual processes." His other works can be found throughout the country. "Untitled I" is currently in Skokie, Illinois, which I think is supposed to be an antique ship rudder. "Untitled III" is in North Carolina, and I think it is either a woodchipper or a pizza cutter.

As for the fate of "Untitled II" or the World's Largest Meat Cleaver, I have absolutely no idea where it has gone to.

Total Time Traveled: 1 hour

Total Distance Traveled: 54 miles

Soundtrack: "The Meanest of Times" Dropkick Murphys

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Topeka Computing Museum - Topeka, KS

The Topeka Computing Museum, also known as Ed's $48 Collection, is not so much a museum as it is a window display of old computers.

There are not really any explanations of what the computers are or their history, but I did a bit of digging on the museums website and found a list of their exhibits. You can see: Apple II computers, Atari, Commodore, CP/M machines, calculators, DOS computers, handhelds, kid's computer playthings, Pong, and other contraptions. I recognized some of the machines from my school days. For example, I used to play this great game on a Mac Computer where you would type in the words as they were falling or they would destroy the city below - basically, an educational version of Space Invaders. So that gives you an idea of just how much I know about computers.

I spent a little bit of time looking at the display, trying to have some sort of reaction. But it was like staring at a painting that you don't have the point of reference you need to understand it. All I saw was a window display of obsolete machines.

Total Time Traveled: 1 hour
Total Distance Traveled: 54 miles
Soundtrack: "Sing Loud, Sing Proud" Dropkick Murphys

Westboro Baptist Church Cult - Topeka, KS

For my tips on dealing with the Westboro Baptist Church Cult, click here.

When I arrived at my internship one day, I discovered a common roadside attraction in Kansas had actually come to me. I have been spending my summer interning for a government agency that helps protect elderly residents of the state. But apparently, the people at Westboro Baptist Church Cult are offended by this. Across the street I saw a group of about eight people holding signs with messages such as “God Hates Jews,” “God Hates America,” and of course their most infamous sign, “God Hates Fags.”

For those unfamiliar with the Westboro Baptist Church Cult, they are a hate group of religious extremists based in Topeka, Kansas. You may have seen them on the news from some of their protests around the country. They are mostly known for picketing soldiers funerals because they believe American soldiers deserve to die because the American government protects and harbors homosexuals. That’s right: they hate the American military because it is too nice to the gays. I don’t know how they rationalize Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, but I’m sure it’s similar to how they rationalized protesting Stevie Nicks. (For those who don’t know, Westboro Baptist Church Cult protested a Stevie Nicks concert in Kansas City because her music will cause you to commit adultery and eat babies. I kid you not.)

This post is about the Westboro Baptist Church Cult as a roadside attraction because at this point that is all they have become. The people of Kansas got used to their shock tactics a long time ago and have pretty much stopped caring. We just assume they are going to protest stupid things and see it as an opportunity to mock them rather than take them seriously.

In fact, counter-protests have started to become the norm. When Westboro Baptist Church Cult showed up to a drag show on the University of Kansas campus, a bunch of students started a counter-protest to raise money for Planned Parenthood, one of the cult’s most prolific enemies. Rather than directly respond to any of their hateful messages, the students made fun of them and managed to raise over $1,000 for Planned Parenthood.

Westboro Baptist Church Cult has taken its show on the road, protesting the funerals of soldiers and stagings of “The Laramie Project.” Locals have responded like many of the students at KU, by holding up signs with slogans like “God Hates Signs,” “God Hates Fuzzy, Tiny Kittens,” and my personal favorite, “Yo, Westboro Baptist Church! I’m happy for you and I’m gonna let you finish but Adolf Hitler was the best anti-semite of all time!” (You can check out some of the best signs here.)

What started out as a way of outraging others with hate and ignorance has actually become an opportunity for local communities to come together in support of love, tolerance, and a sense of humor. I suppose that is why I felt compelled to include them in this blog. Because the truth is, if you drive in Kansas on a road trip then there is a good chance you’re going to see a Westboro Baptist Church Cult protest. But there’s also a good chance you’ll see a counter-protest of people uniting for love and understanding and me holding a sign that says, “God Hates Shellfish.”

Total Time Traveled: 1 hour
Total Distance Traveled: 54 miles
Soundtrack: “Blood on the Tracks” Bob Dylan

Endnote: Why I Call It Westboro Baptist Church Cult

This is not a political blog so I’m not going to get into the finer points of their anti-Semitic, homophobic propaganda. The only point I will make is that Westboro Baptist Church is not a “church,” it is a cult. To call it a church is an insult to all other religious institutions and houses of prayer. The cult is run by Fred Phelps and consists almost entirely of Phelps family members including his children and grandchildren. (Yes, they bring the little kids to protests.) Two of the Phelps children have escaped his cult and described suffering abuse from their father who created the church to elevate himself as a sort of demigod. In 1995, one of his sons claimed that Phelps was enslaving members of the cult and deluding them into believing he was the only righteous man on earth. That is why I will NOT refer to Westboro as a church.

Pictures From the Huffington Post

Kansas Capitol Building - Topeka, KS

Wondering where I have been for the last few weeks? Everywhere! I have been working like a mad woman back and forth between Kansas and Missouri for both my jobs. This resulted in a lot of traveling, but absolutely no free time to talk about it. So I'm going to work on getting caught up, starting with my trip last Tuesday to the Kansas Capitol building in Topeka!

I went to Topeka for a rally and to join many supporters of women's access to health care in delivering petitions to Governor Parkinson. But, this is not my political or ideological forum so enough about that and on to the Capitol building itself.

A significant portion of the capitol building is currently under renovation so there is little to see on the south side except for scaffolding. The original capitol building took thirty-seven years to complete from 1885 to 1922 and cost $3,200,588.92.

Like most state capitols, the Kansas Capitol building features a prominent dome. The tradition of the dome is meant to model a state's capitol after the nation's capitol building in Washington D.C., though there are a few notable exceptions. The Kansas dome keeps with the Corinthian and French architecture style and was part of the original 1885 design of the capitol, but the figure on top of the dome is new.

The figure is named Ad Astra, meaning "to the stars." The bronze statue, added in 2002, is 22 feet and 2 inches tall and weighs 4,420 pounds. (Fun Fact: The oldest known graffiti on the dome dates back to 1903.) I didn't have time, what with my political activities and all, but you can tour the inside of the dome. If you can make it up 296 steps to the top of the dome that is.

Total Trip Time: 6 hours
Total Travel Distance: 140 miles

Bust of Andrew Taylor Still - Topeka, KS

As I was walking back to my car from the World's Largest Wren, I passed the Kansas Association of Osteopathic Medicine. On the left side, I noticed a small sort of garden. There was a red brick path off the sidewalk that led into the area that circled a creepy looking bronze bust with stone benches around it like pews around an altar. I circled it looking for a plaque or explanation of who this man was but there was nothing. Just this memorial garden in homage to head and hand of a really creepy looking man.

The eyes of the bust glance to the side, it makes it seem as though he is regarding you with a sidelong stare - he is sizing you up for some unknown purpose. I know the bone he is holding in his hand is supposed to be a sign of his powers as a healer, but with the creepy stare it becomes more menacing. Like he is threatening to hit me with it. This is supposed to be an homage to this guy, but really he doesn't seem like someone I would want to spend too much time with.

When I get home, I look up the the Kansas Association of Osteopathic Medicine online. There is no information about the bust itself except for a picture. But browsing more I learn it might be Andrew Taylor Still who created osteopathic medicine in 1874, a method of healing that focuses on the unity of all body parts. After a little more research, I found that Still may have this little memorial garden in Kansas but he actually founded the first school of osteopathic medicine in Kirksville, Missouri. It still exists although now it carries his name as the A.T. Still University.

The creepy bust of Still doesn't do much to improve my opinion of Topeka. I still think it is the most depressing place I have traveled to in a while. But I will be giving it another chance soon. I'm going to go back to see the Brown v. Board of Education Historical site, only a few blocks away from the wren and the bust. We'll see if the second visit proves more uplifting than the first.

Click here to see more pictures!

Soundtrack: Fiona Apple "Extraordinary Machine"

World's Largest Wren - Topeka, KS

Driving to Topeka after work was a liberating experience. I was going 70 miles down the open highway that cut through the flat plains with Carrie Underwood's new CD blasting on the stereo and a cigarette dangling from my fingers as I sang along at the top of my lungs to my new anthem "Out of this Town." But arriving in Topeka sent me tumbling back to reality. Out the window, I could see nothing but sadness. Boarded up buildings and crumbling small businesses lined the streets then faded as I moved into the government's district. But once I was past the capitol buildings, devastation took over again. The saddest sight was a wedding cake store that looked like it was just sinking into the dirtiness of the sidewalk.

It was a stark contrast to the signs that celebrated the city. I drove under an arch over a major intersection that brightly declared the city's status as a capital. And on the side was the World's Largest Wren in Huntoon Park. The park itself was sad. In fact, I don't understand why they call it a park. It's a median! A median in the middle of a busy intersection with grass, a sign, a big bird and one picnic bench. But that seems to be what passes for a park in this area. I had passed another "park" earlier that was more a patch of grass between the sidewalk and a parking lot. There was a sign to declare it a park, but nothing whatsoever particularly natural about it.

The World's Largest Wren has no plaque telling its history or purpose. It's just sort of there. It doesn't look well cared for either, the paint is peeling in several places. On its back are thousands of little spikes to keep pigeons from landing on it - sort of ironic I think to keep birds away from the giant bird. I stood around for awhile, waiting for something to happen I suppose. Waiting for someone to be in the park maybe or look at the bird. Mostly people just stared at me and wondered who that chick with the camera was standing in the median. So with a sense of disappointment, I started walking back to my car and dodged the oncoming traffic of rush hour.

Click here to see more pictures!

Trip Time: 3 hours
Distance Traveled: 153.5 miles
Soundtrack: Carrie Underwood "Carnival Ride"