Three Midwest Cities for Book Lovers

I would like to take a momentary break from my posts about my trip to New York City to indulge in my bibliophile travel interests. There has been some great literary news lately, including Philip Levine being named the 2011-12 U.S. Poet Laureate. But recently as I was reading Huffington Post Books (my favorite source for book nerd news), I saw a link to the "5 Best Cities for Book Lovers."

It was not a surprising list:
1. Pasadena, CA (Vroman's Bookstore)
2. Washington D.C. (Politics & Prose Bookstore)
3. San Francisco, CA (City Lights)
4. Portland, OR (Powell's Books)
5. New York City, NY (Strand Bookstore)

I agree that these are all great cities for book lovers. I love the Strand and I love City Lights. I have to go to the Strand every time I go to New York City (as I've mentioned here before) and as a devout follower of Kerouac I am happy to say that I have made the "counter-culture pilgrimage" to City Lights.

But here's my problem with the list: Where are the Midwest cities? Every place on the list is East Coast or West Coast without anything in the middle. I know we tend to be thought of as fly-over country, but even with all the plans buzzing overhead we have still found time to enjoy a book or two. That is why I want to add a few places to this list. Specifically, three Midwest cities and towns for book lovers:

1. Kansas City (Rainy Day Books)

Regardless of whether you are on the Kansas or Missouri side of the state line in Kansas City, Rainy Day Books is your source for all great literary events. I have mentioned this bookstore here before, but feel the need to mention it again. Because if you want to make a list of cities for book lovers, it just has to include Rainy Day Books. To read more about it, visit my previous blog post here.

2. Chicago, IL (Women and Children First Bookstore)

This Andersonville bookstore, as the name would suggest, specializes in feminist and children literature. But the best reason to keep coming back is the author events. Powerful women, such as Hilary Clinton, have given readings there. I was lucky enough to attend a reading by Nora Vincent after the release of her book "Self-Made Man: My Year Disguised as a Man", describing her 18-month experiment to pass as a man in traditionally male-only venues (including everything from bowling teams to strip clubs to a monastery). It has an incredibly loyal group of patrons as well as local prestige as it was named one of the ten best bookstore in Chicago by the Chicago Tribune.

3. Lawrence, KS (The Dusty Bookshelf)

Okay, so I'm a little biased and put my current hometown on here. But it really is a great place for book lovers. On Massachusetts Street, the main street through downtown Lawrence, you will find my favorite used bookstore, The Dusty Bookshelf. This little shop is piled high with books - literally. Even with full shelves at the Dusty Bookshelf, you can still find stacks and stacks of books just waiting to be sorted through by a dedicated reader who enjoys the thrill of discovery just as much as she loves a good read.

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Road Trip Philosophy - My Top Three Road Trip Horror Movies

I have written before about how much I love movies about road trips and about how much I love horror movies about traveling, so it only makes sense that I should make a list of five road trip horror movies that I love endlessly. Now this is a list of good horror movies, not bad horror movies. That is a list I'm saving for later.

1. Texas Chainsaw Massacre

This iconic film created one of the most enduring horror movie killers of all time - Leatherface. A group of friends are on a road trip in rural Texas, but they make some classic horror movie mistakes. First, they pick up a hitchhiker (If you didn't learn not to do that from this movie, then watch "The Hitcher" and you'll know that speeding past a sketchy man by the side of a rural road is a good idea). Then they go into a strange house with an unlocked door. Finally, they split up. These are all things you simply don't do - in real life or a horror movie. But of course, it is now too late. They are at the mercy of the murderous Leatherface and his family of cannibals. Violent and terrifying, this is a classic film and no matter how many times they make sequels and remakes - nothing will ever be as good as the original.

2. Jeepers Creepers

Two siblings are going on a road trip home from college in a classic car along a back country road. What could go wrong? Apparently a Creeper awaking from his nap to go on a killing spree can go wrong. Darry, the brother, sees the Creeper dumping a body and convinces his sister to help him investigate. What he discovers is a horrifying collection of bodies and parts. They run to get help, with the Creeper close behind. Once he decides one of the siblings has something he wants, he's not going to stop hunting them until he gets it. Complete with a psychic trying to help and police who don't seem to be able to do a thing to help, it is a thrill ride as what supposed to be a nice trip home becomes a run for their lives from the supernatural. (By the way, the sequel to this is actually pretty good. As far as horror movie sequels go.)

3. House of 1000 Corpses

This film scares me and not many do. But maybe that is just because it is set up like a road trip I would go one. Two couples set out on the road to write a book about off-beat roadside attractions (sound familiar?), but then they make the same mistake as our travelers in "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" - they pick up a hitchhiker named Baby. But Baby leads them right into a trap. The couples end up at her house to celebrate her strange family's even stranger Halloween traditions. After dinner, the family puts on a Halloween show for their guests, but Baby takes things a little too far and is threatened. Mother tells the friends to leave, but as they try to do so they are attacked. What follows is a horrifying mind-trip into the frightening depravity of this sick and twisted family. This movie is definitely frightening and yet another reminder to never pick up hitchhikers - or you might end up having dinner with a family of crazies in the middle of nowhere.

Honorable Mention: Death Proof

I can't count the number of times I have seen Death Proof. The only reason I am reluctant to put in the top three is that I'm not sure it really qualifies as a "road trip" movie or even a "horror" movie. But in the spirit of thrillers like "Duel" and "Vanishing Point", this film will have you on the edge of your seat. Part of Robert Rodriquez and Quinten Tarantino's "Grindhouse" double feature, "Death Proof" is half the story of a serial killer stuntman with a car who likes to kill girls in car accidents that only he survives. But then he messes with the wrong girls who aren't about to go down easy. This film is part car-chase thriller, part twisted-psychological horror, and part girl-power. I can't recommend this movie enough, even if you only watch it to see Zoe Bell perform jaw dropping stunts while strapped to the hood of a car.

Road Trip Philosophy - My Top Three Dream Romantic Destinations

The Huffington Post recently posted a list of 9 legendary romantic spots worth a visit. While the list was really interesting - it included the spot where Elizabeth Bennett first rejected Mr. Darcy and the balcony of Shakespeare's Juliet - I noticed a distinct lack of a few spots that to me are incredibly romantic. Although my concept of romance may be a little skewed, as evidenced by this list. So in honor of Valentine's Day, I am happy to present my top three dream romantic destinations.

1. Married by Elvis in Las Vegas, Nevada

Some little girls dream of their weddings in a big white dress and a chapel filled with flowers. I've never really been one of those girls. In fact, I can't really think of anything I would want less than a wedding that takes two years to plan and costs tens of thousands of dollars. My ideal wedding would be in Las Vegas, Nevada with an Elvis conducting the ceremony. To me, it is everything a wedding should be. It is fun and intimate. It is about two people celebrating their love by having a little fun and even being a little silly. "A Elvis Chapel" is of course not the only chapel where this is an option - there are at least a dozen chapels in Vegas that offer an opportunity to be married by the King. And I suppose the sheer number of places for this opportunity show I'm not the only one who thinks romance shouldn't take itself too seriously.

2. St. George's Chapel at Windsor Castle in Berkshire, England

Many of the sites in The Huffington Post article honor tragic love, commemorating star-crossed lovers who are doomed to never be truly together in life. But to me one of the most enduring loves was between Queen Victoria and Prince Albert. After meeting Albert, Victoria wrote to her uncle Leopold to thank him "for the prospect of great happiness you have contributed to give me, in the person of dear Albert ... He possesses every quality that could be desired to render me perfectly happy." They were happily married for 21 years and had 9 children. After Albert died of typhoid, Queen Victoria plunged into mourning. For the rest of her life, she would wear black and seclude herself from the world. In honor of her husband's memory, Queen Victoria renovated the east end of the choir of St. George's Chapel in Windsor Castle. Prince Albert's Memorial Chapel, as it came to be known, continues to commemorate royal true love to this day.

3. Bow Bridge at Central Park in New York City, New York

In cinematic history, Bow Bridge has often been a site for romantic scenes such as in "The Way We Were", "Manhattan", and "Keeping the Faith". (Fun Fact: I was actually an extra in "Keeping the Faith". Although my scene was cut, I can be seen in a group photo on Jenna Elfman's dresser in another scene). It is an iconic New York City and romantic landmark. The bridge stretchs 60 feet across the Central Park lake, linking the flowers of Cherry Hill with the woodland of the Ramble. In the lake, you can see couples in paddle boats and swans - who often mate for life. Bow Bridge also offers one of the most iconic views of New York City you can find. It isn't a surprise that this one of the most popular proposal spots in the country.

Road Trip Philosophy - My Top Three Horror Movies about Hotel Rooms

Anyone who has been on a long-distance road trip knows the feeling - you've been driving too long, it's gotten dark, you're bleary-eyed, and one more cup of coffee just won't do the trick. It's time to stop and get a hotel room for the night so you can get back on the road in the morning. You start scanning the sides of the road for a sign or maybe you wake up a passenger to look one up on a map or a GPS device. But once you find the motel, the inevitable happens - you remember that shower scene in "Psycho." Hollywood has played on the fears of late night road travelers when they are forced to stop for a night for decades. And here is my list of my top three horror movies that make me think twice about stopping for a motel room on the road (or a hotel with a haunted history).

1. Psycho

The first time I saw "Psycho" was by accident. I was at Universal Pictures Studios with my family and we were on a ride showing how some of the most famous scenes in movies were made. One was the infamous shower scene in "Psycho". My sister and I were both very young, I think I must have been about ten and she was around eight. Of course, we were promptly scarred for life after seeing that scene. For years, we were terrified about showers. It would be many, many years before I would come to love this movie and other great Hitchcock classics (I am also particularly fond of "The Man Who Knew Too Much"). But that is the enduring power of "Psycho". Young or old, this film burrows in your brain and plants a fear that stays with you the rest of your life - and makes you think twice about taking a shower in a motel.

2. Identity

A raging storm traps a group of complete strangers in a motel, but they have more to fear from the deranged killer among them then the nasty weather. As their numbers start to dwindle, they turn on each other to try and figure out who the killer is. All the while we know there is a psychotic killer being examined before he is to be executed for grisly murders in the hotel. It is a psychological thriller, complete with twists and turns that make you question who is the killer, who is real, and what exactly is going on. This film takes the traditional archetype - people trapped in a strange motel - and turns it on its head. Complete with a twist ending that will make you yell, "What just happened?!"

3. The Shining

It's not really about a motel and it's not about travelers forced to stop for the night, but you can't make a list of top horror movies involving motels or hotels and not include "The Shining"! That's some kind of sacrilege to the movie gods. Stanley Kubrick has made some of the most enduring films in cinema - from "Dr. Strangelove" to "Full Metal Jacket". But none are as truly terrifying as "The Shining". A writer takes his family to a secluded hotel for the winter so he can work as a caretaker and write. But then things start happening. Their son seems to be the only one with any real awareness of just how bad things are going to be, as the father begins to slip into madness under the influence of the hotel. It is one of the greatest horror films ever made. Scratch that. One of the greatest films ever made. "Heeeere's, Johnny!"

Road Trip Philosophy - My Top 5 Movies about Road Trips

It's the first post of the new year (when we can finally drop this "two thousand and..." nonsense and just start saying twenty eleven), so I thought I'd offer some insight into one of my favorite things in the world - movies. Yes, I am absolutely obsessed with movies. My friends and family often marvel at my ability to know random bits of useless film trivia, to quote lines from most of the movies I have seen, and even the sheer number of movies I seem to have found time to watch in my short time on this earth. Everyone has their passions and films just happen to be one of mine. It seems fitting to begin this new year (and the third year of The Yellow Brick Road Trip), with a list of my favorite five movies about road trips.

1. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

"We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold." Has there ever been a greater or more outrageous opening line to a film? Hunter S. Thompson's book that served as the foundation for the film is one of the greatest written works of that time, serving to encapsulate the "high water mark" of a generation. Johnny Depp and Bencio Del Toro are incredible as they portray an eccentric journalist and his insane lawyer on a drug-fueled road trip to Las Vegas. The sheer visual spectacle of their escapades is captivating and the sense of unbridled adventure and insanity always make me want to jump into a convertible and hit the open desert road.

2. Little Miss Sunshine

All families are a little dysfunctional, but Little Miss Sunshine shows what happens when you put all that dysfunction into one van and send it hurtling towards California. I love each character for their own unique foibles - the unsuccessful motivational speaker father, the silent brother with a dream, the suicidal intellectual uncle, the heroin-using and sex-crazed grandfather, and above all the little girl with glasses and a dream. This film makes every family road trip I've been on seem like a five-star luxury retreat. But it also encapsulates the true meaning of a family road trip - it's not where you're going, it's spending time with your family along the way. And everything that goes wrong is just one more opportunity to bring you closer to the people you are stuck with.

3. Easy Rider

It is impossible for me to write about road trip films and not mention Easy Rider. Probably because I don't believe there has been a more culturally significant film about the free spirit of the open road. It is certainly controversial for its use of real drugs, but the epic story of two men searching the Southwest and South for true freedom captures the longing escape that can only be found on a deserted highway. When I first saw this film in high school, I don't think I really understood it. I latched on to the need to be untethered and see country, just as I did when I first read "On the Road" by Jack Kerouac. But as I have gotten older and continued to re-watch the film, I now feel as though Fonda and Hopper are conveying some deep truth. There is a desperate longing to the two lone bikers on the road. Some furious need to be free that burns within every soul and propels us forward to tragedy. This film always fans that sad little flame within me and by the time it is over, I am always looking at a map for some new far-flung destination in a place I have never been.

4. Tommy Boy

I did not go a day in middle school without hearing someone quote "Tommy Boy." This is without a doubt the funniest road trip movie I have ever seen and has the best, most quotable dialogue. The immature and accident-prone Chris Farley has incredible comedic timing as he delivers his enduring one liners ("Do you know where the weight room is?") and David Spade is the ultimate uptight straight man with a razor sharp tongue trying desperately to survive their misadventures ("Let's say the average person uses ten percent of their brain. How much do you use? One and a half percent. The rest is clogged with malted hops and bong resin"). In summarizing my love for "Tommy Boy" I suppose there is only one thing left to say: "Fat guy in a little coat."

5. Wristcutters: A Love Story

This movie was first recommended to me by my friend Kat, and I'll be honest and say I hesitated a long time before watching it. As much as I have a morbid sense of humor, I simply couldn't imagine a film about suicidal people being funny and heartwarming. Luckily, I recognized that Kat is often much smarter than me and rented this movie because it is funny, heartwarming, inspiring, and so much more. It is a film about second chances and finding the answers you didn't even know you were looking for on the road. After committing suicide, a man finds him stuck in an afterlife purgatory. He hits the road with a rock musician who committed suicide on stage and a girl who insists she is in the wrong place in search of the his old girlfriend, who has learned in also in purgatory after killing herself. Sounds depressing, I know, but this movie offers truth and philosophy about life and the road in a way I have never seen. Whether it is that anything lost under the passenger seat is gone for good or what you have is always better than what you are looking for, this is an enlightening film that will make you think even as it warms your heart.

My Favorite Road Trip Blogs

I don't just write a travel blog, I read them as well. I love reading blogs about road trips because they give me great ideas for my own adventures and also provide me with an opportunity to interact with others who enjoy writing about their time on the road. Since I know you, my reader, also enjoy reading travel blogs (obviously) I thought I would share with you some of my favorites:

A Traveler's Library:

This blog was a recent discovery about I have been working my way through the archived posts pretty quickly. This blog combines books, movies, and travel into one amazing experience that captures the influence of media on our destinations. If you're looking for something to read, something to watch, or somewhere to go - this blog has some of the greatest suggestions you can find. She recently inspired me to read "In Cold Blood" by Truman Capote (I know, it's embarrassing I haven't already read it) in preparation for a road trip to Holcomb, Kansas where the crime was committed.

Eccentric Roadside:

If you enjoy the old-school roadside attractions like I do, then this blog is a must-read. Want to know about weird museums? Read about their trips to the Museum of Bad Art or the Spam Museum. Want to know about Jim Napors (aka Gomer Pyle)? Well they have been to his hometown and can tell you all about it. Whether it is a funny sign, a weird roadside attraction, or a restaurant shaped like a racial stereotype, this couple has been there and done that. This blog will tell you about all the strange things out there and make you want to hit the road in search of more.

Solo Road Trip:

Tammie Dooley gave up a career in financial planning to live as a freelance writer. As someone who spent many years as a struggling freelance writer, I know how big a transition that can be. She has embarked on some amazing adventures around the country and the world, including an awe-inspiring mountain climbing feat. If you only read a couple of her posts, read about her climb of Grand Teton. Her stories and pictures are absolutely inspiring.

The Unplanned Misadventures of MirMir and Bess:

I am lucky enough to actually know the MirMir and Bess of this blog - we went to college together. And I have also been lucky enough to accompany them on a few road trips, including one adventure to a little town called Hell in Michigan. After college, MirMir and Bess traveled the country. Then MirMir took to the sea as a cook for a tall ship while Bess went to California and now is living in Canada. They continue to have adventures and share them with their lucky readers and also share their thoughts on a variety of topics from movies to books to steampunk. Reading the blog is like sitting down for a drink with two of the most interesting people I have ever met.

Wandering Off:

In this blog, a mother writes about her adventures with her husband and young daughter in Texas and beyond. While I tend to travel alone or with a friendly companion, I love reading about their heart-warming family adventures. For those who are looking for some family road trip ideas, this is a must read. And for those who simply like to enjoy feel-good stories about a family that loves to hop in the car and hit the road (like me), this is also a must read.

Road Trip Philosophy - My Travel Bucket List

Travel Junkie Julia recently posted 10 Extreme Travel Adventures to Add to Your Bucket List. The exciting list included riding a bull, cage diving with great white sharks, and running a marathon on the Great Wall of China. My personal bucket list is significantly less dangerous, but I always appreciate some suggestions and thought this would be a great chance to share with you my top three travel destinations I will go to before I die:

1. The Sedlec Ossuary in Sedlec, Czech Republic

I have already bought my Czech Republic travel guides, complete with maps and hostel ratings. I've been planning this trip for a couple years and sincerely hope to go sometimes in the next few years.

The Sedlect Ossuary has an amazing history. The abbot of the monastery in Sedlec, was sent to the Holy Land in 1278. When he returned, he brought with him a small amount of earth he had removed from Golgotha and sprinkled it over the abbey cemetery. The word of this pious act soon spread and the cemetery in Sedlec became a desirable burial site throughout Central Europe. During the Black Death in the mid 14th century, and after the Hussite Wars in the early 15th century, many thousands of people were buried there and the cemetery had to be greatly enlarged.

Overwhelmed with bodies, a woodcarver in the 19th century was employed to put the bones in order. The result was incredible. He completely decorated the small chapel with the bones, including an enormous chandelier of bones hangs from the center of the nave with garlands of skulls draping the vaults. This macabre chapel is one place I have to see before I die

2. Safari and Tour of Tanzania, Africa

Specifically, I would like to go on a safari tour through Lake Manyara and Ngorongoro Crater in Tanzania. Also, a stop on the beautiful beaches of Zanzibar for some relaxation in the beautiful sun. In addition to amazing safaris, beautiful beaches, and busy urban cities, Tanzania also offers Mt. Kilimanjaro, the highest peak in Africa (though I doubt I am even remotely in good enough physical shape to even consider climbing it). Basically, I would like to spend a month living in Tanzania so I would have an opportunity to explore all of its amazing attributes.

Tanzania is believed to be one of the oldest known continuously inhabited areas on Earth. Fossil remains of humans and pre-human hominids have been found dating back over two million years. And while many countries in Africa have been torn apart by tribal wars and genocide, Tanzania has lived in relative peace. It is one of the most diverse places in Africa: there are over 120 ethnic groups and a multitude of religions being practiced, including Islam, Christianity, and indigenous religions. Though their primary industry is agriculture (fun fact: agriculture accounts for one-half of the country's gross national product), tourism is a growing industry. So I am certainly not alone in making Tanzania one of my top three places to visit before I die.

3. Mule Trip on the South Rim and Camping in the Grand Canyon, Arizona

Given my recent trip to Arizona, this is probably the most attainable destination (also the cheapest, based on the cost of international airfare.) The Grand Canyon is such an amazing place. It took nearly two billion years of geological events to create it and is without a doubt one of the greatest natural wonders of the world. It is also the site of some of the oldest North American archeological finds. The oldest human artifacts found in the Grand Canyon are nearly 12,000 years old and date to the Paleo-Indian period.

I want to take a mule trip down the south rim, but I would also like to camp at the bottom. I want to really experience the beauty and natural wonders of the Grand Canyon, but not be a destructive tourist. Many people don't know that the Grand Canyon is a delicate ecosystem, and one that eager tourists often abuse. For example, tourists sometimes throw coins into the canyon but then wildlife, such as the California Condor, eat them and choke to death. A depressing thought, I know, but I still think an important thing to remember. I want to go to the Grand Canyon to see the natural beauty, but hopefully leave no trace of my presence behind.

Road Trip Philosophy – Five Rules of Road Trips

In addition to traveling and writing about traveling, I also like reading about traveling. (I’m sort of one dimensional that way). One of my favorite blogs to read about traveling is Vagabonding Life by Greg Rodgers. Back in 2005, Greg quit his corporate job and took off for the wild blue yonder. Since then, he’s been sharing his amazing stories with us.

One my favorite posts by him is Unofficial Rules of Vagabonding. He offers brilliant advice, such as: “When life gives you lemons, throw them back at the harlot!” Inspired by him, I thought I would share my five rules of road trips.

1. Bring a Map or GPS…

Before I take a trip, I map it out on Google Maps. I figure out all the possible roads I could take there and back, what towns I will pass through along the way, and anywhere I might want to stop on the road. Once I’m on the road, I keep my Garmin GPS handy and a back up map in the glove compartment. Kansas is full of one lane highways that pass through fields without anywhere to stop for hours. One bad turn and you’re heading through Western Kansas for hours before you realize you’ve gone the wrong way. Also, some roadside attractions are small and not advertised. You have to know what you’re looking for and where it is if you’re going to find some roadside attractions.

2. …But Plan on Getting Lost Anyway!

A common mistake about GPS is that it will always work. But I can guarantee when you are out on that one lane highway that runs along the railroad tracks, you’re going to hear that annoying little chirp and monotone voice saying, “Lost satellite reception.” This also assumes that your GPS is completely updated, which also seems to rarely happen. Roads change over time and there will always be construction and detours blocking your path. You can keep your GPS on and try to negotiate around it, but it will keep trying to take you back down the road you can’t take and all the while saying, “Recalculating… Recalculating…” At that point, the only sane thing to do is turn it off.

Without a GPS, you can turn to your map or just trust your inner sense of direction (both of which are highly fallible). On my way back from Oklahoma to Kansas, I spent a good half hour driving around little towns, following a detour that never seemed to end through a torrential downpour. It was unpleasant, but it was an adventure. And isn’t that why you take a road trip in the first place?

3. Talk to Locals…

When you stop in a town of less than 1,000 people, you have to ask yourself one question: Where can I eat that I won’t get food poisoning? Food poisoning and even indigestion can make a long car ride pretty awful for you and anyone who might be in the car with you, so I always take some care with where I eat. But at the same time, I don’t really want to go to a fast food chain. I may know what I’m getting, but where is the fun in eating the same thing at the same place you could go to at home? That’s when its time to talk to locals. There’s always someone friendly around who will tell you where the good greasy spoon diner is. Locals are tour guides: they know what there is to see and how to get there. And you can make some interesting new acquaintances.

4. …But Know When to Keep Your Mouth Shut!

The first time I drove through Atchison, Kansas, I was shocked at some of the bumper stickers. It seems someone had been handing out bumper stickers that expressed political views in the most volatile and violent language possible. That was one of those moments when I knew it was best to keep quiet. If you are on a road trip to voice your opinions and beliefs and every stop, then you’re taking a road trip for the wrong reason and you’re going to spend most of your time in heated arguments. At a certain point, you have to know when to shut up and keep your head down.

Also, know when to walk away. I met a very friendly guy in St. Joseph, Missouri who gave me directions to some places I was looking for and told me a great place to grab dinner. Of course, then he wanted to buy me a drink and wasn’t too interested in taking no for an answer. I made some quick excuses and then I made my escape. Locals are friendly…sometimes too friendly. So know when it’s time to walk away.

5. Be Flexible!

This is the greatest rule of road trips. No one likes the driver on a road trip who won’t stop for food or bathroom breaks, who keeps insisting on sticking to some pre-ordained schedule, and who won’t let you turn the radio up as loud as it goes. Also, if you’re not willing to stop or explore now and then, you’re missing out on some great adventures! My best road trip stories with friends all came about because we were willing to stray from the narrow path. Be willing to take the risk or the long road or the short cut. Be willing to have something go terribly wrong because at least then you’ll have a great story to tell when you get back on your way. As Greg Rodgers would say, “When life gives you lemons, throw them back at the harlot!”

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The Bizarre Laws of Travel Destinations

As a law student, I have profound respect for the judicial system and the laws it strives to uphold. However, as a law student, I am also aware of just how many ridiculous and bizarre laws are actually still on the books. In my landlocked home state of Oklahoma, it is illegal to go whaling. When I moved to Evanston, Illinois, I learned it was illegal to skip because skipping was a sign of drunkness. (Of course, that meant the first time my friends and I got drunk we attempted to skip and found it surprisingly difficult to do so while under the influence.)

The more I travel and the more places I go, the more weird and inexplicable laws I encounter. I recently read “I’m Under Arrest for What? 50 Bizarre Laws U.S. Laws” and got to thinking about some of the weird laws I’ve learned about my travel destinations.

Here is a sampling of some bizarre laws in the states I have written about in this blog:

Illinois:

• It is illegal to speak English. Only "American" may be spoken in Illinois.
• It is also illegal to have less than one dollar on your person. If you don't have at least one dollar, you may be arrested for vagrancy.
• In Chicago it is illegal to eat in a place that is on fire. Because apparently common sense needs to be legislated.
• In Chicago, it is also illegal to fish while sitting on a giraffe's neck. No really. That is explicitly forbidden.

Kansas:

• It is illegal to shoot rabbits from a motorboat.
• It is illegal to catch a fish with your bare hands.
• It is illegal for restaurants to sell cherry pie à la mode on Sundays.
• A law in Kansas requires that if two trains meet on the same track, neither shall proceed until the other has passed. Think about that for a second.

Missouri:

• Children are permitted to buy shotguns, but not toy capped guns.
• Any single man between the ages of 18 and 50 is required by law to pay a tax of one dollar.
• Any city in Missouri can levy a tax to support a band, as long as the mayor plays piccolo and each band member can eat peas with a knife.

Oklahoma:

• It is illegal to take a bite out of another person’s hamburger.
• It's illegal to get a fish drunk.
• It is illegal to wear your boots to bed.
• Please note, these are the clean ones. If you want to know all the dirty things that are illegal in Oklahoma - and there are a lot of them! - click here.

Texas:

• It is illegal to shoot a buffalo out of a second story hotel. I guess that means its okay to shoot one out of the first story.
• It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer while standing. But I would pay money to see the police attempt to enforce this one.
• A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed. Once again, I would pay money to see the police attempt to enforce this one.
  

Three Awesomely Bad Horror Movies about Airplanes

All good things must come to an end and so I eventually had to leave Chicago and my wonderful friend Anna. But then about three days later I was back on a plane at Kansas City International Airport heading towards Houston, Texas.

While Anna and I became friends in Oklahoma almost a decade ago, we have been scattered to the wind. My family has re-located and so has hers. Now her parents reside in Katy, Texas and I was thrilled to be visiting them. Anna and I prepared a list of absurd museums and roadside attractions to visit along with our usual get-together activities: pedicures and horror movies.

So in honor of our tradition, I thought I'd share a list of my three favorite awesomely bad horror films involving road trips. Then I realized that topic was way, way too broad. How do you really narrow that down with so many amazingly terrible movies to choose from? So I narrowed it down a little more - my favorite three awesomely bad horror movies about airplanes.

1. Red Eye

I'll pretty much watch anything that has Cilian Murphy in it. Whether he's wearing a dress in Breakfast on Pluto or a bag over his head in Batman Begins, Murphy is a good actor and a joy to watch. Murphy plays Jackson Rippner who is threatening to kill the father of Lisa Reisert (played by Rachel McAdams) unless she helps him set up a political assassination. For most of the movie, she tries to find clever ways to escape him and get help while the devious Rippner tries to keep his control. My favorite awesomely bad part of this movie is Reisert's choice of weapons. Like when they are in a house and she runs through a kitchen full of knives to grab her field hockey stick. Or on the plane when she gives him a ball point pen tracheotomy (similar to the one seen in Saw V).

2. Final Destination

When it comes to awesomely bad horror movies, the Final Destination series is among the best. The first film is about Death stalking survivors of a plane crash, the second is about Death stalking survivors of a car crash and the third is about Death stalking survivors of a roller coaster crash. Noticing a trend here? I think the entire purpose of this film is just to see how sickly creative horror writers can get. Like they are sitting around a room, getting drunk and saying to each other, "How many ways can we behead a guy?" And as they pass around the bottle, a Final Destination film is written. Whatever mental illness or amount of alcohol it took to create these films, I am so glad they exist. Because they are just terrible and the ways people are die are absolutely bizarre. But that's what makes them awesomely bad and so much fun to watch!

3. Snakes on a Plane

This horror/thriller/comedy and all-around bad movie was re-written and re-shot to incorporate the comments of the film's Internet fanbase before it was released. And therefore this film is the ultimate warning of why you should never take anything said on the Internet seriously. Personally, I think this movie was made just so Samuel L. Jackson could say, "I'm sick of these motherf***ing snakes on this motherf***ing plane!" And that was the only thing that made it worth watching. And the scene about sporks. That was pretty awesome, too.


These three films are my personal favorite awesomely bad horror movies about airplanes. But there are hundreds of other great awesomely bad horror films you can add to this list. Some involving airplanes and some not. Some awesomely bad, some intentionally awesomely bad (like Dusk til Dawn) and some awesomely good (like Psycho). Go ahead, post your list. I'd love to see them!

Total Travel Distance: 1,290 miles (From Chicago to Kansas City, then Kansas City to Katy)